A Moment of Weakness

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T13:26:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! Eat lots of turkey and try not to kill your relatives!

I Can't Stop Laughing

2008-12-20T08:55:00.000-05:00

I went to see the Trews in concert on Thursday!

For those of you who don't know who the Trews are, shame on you. They put out great albums, but the real joy behind the Trews is their live show. I have never in my life had the privilege of seeing a better band live. I've been to many concerts, so this is quite a distinction in my opinion.

I can't pin down exactly what I think it is that makes them so good, but here's a shot: they're enthusiastic on stage, they play revamped versions of their own songs, mixed with covers of other peoples songs, and they rock.

How's that for coherent?

I don't know if they're playing in your area anytime soon, but I recommend that if you see them advertised anywhere near you, you go and check them out. You won't be sorry....

Road Rage

2008-12-17T15:11:00.000-05:00

I have terrible road rage.

It's made so much worse by winter. People drive only one of two ways when it snows: way too slow or way too fast.

Am I the only one who notices this? I mean, come on! You do not need to drive 20 kms per hour down a freshly plowed, freshly salted, freshly sanded main road. Turning off of it onto a snowy side street? Yes! By all means, slow down to a crawl! But while you're on the aforementioned groomed street, you can drive at a normal speed! Snow on the ground doesn't alter the laws of physics!

But while people who drive too slowly are an irritant, their counterpart is a danger.

I happen to live in a fairly wealthy part of the country, so you know what that means! Soccer mom's who are too "hip" and "cool" to drive mini-vans are all driving monster SUV's designed more for modern warfare then city streets. This gives them and their husbands the insane notion that they can continue to drive like the assholes they are whenever it snows. THEY have great traction and control in the snow, so they can speed like maniacs, follow too closely and weave in and out of traffic. And while they're weaving? They cut off others who aren't driving assault vehicles, thus sending them into a spin when they attempt to slam on the brakes on black ice.

In case you can't tell, an SUV cut me off this morning, causing me to slam on my brakes and go into a spin. This same SUV had not cleared it's roof of snow, so I got to drive in a veritable blizzard until I was able to pass them.

I would have taken down their license plate number and reported them to the police, but they had also left their bumper covered in snow and I couldn't make it out. I contemplated following them to their destination, but I was late for work. It was a near thing though, I was sorely tempted.

Thank You

2008-12-10T21:36:00.000-05:00

I wanted to add something to my post on Saturday, but I didn't know exactly how to work it in. I thought about it and I decided that the best way was just to post it separately.

I want to say thank you to some people I've never met. People I will probably never meet.

To the families of the person who donated their livers so my sister can live, I just want to offer my undying gratitude. You of all people know what it's like to lose someone close to you, and you prevented myself and my family from knowing the same grief.

I think about you all the time.

I know that while my family is celebrating a happy anniversary, you are soberly reflecting on an anniversary of your own. I think about our Christmas miracle, as I called her last week, and know that you didn't get the miracle you were hoping for three years ago.

You are kind and generous people who gave my 17 year old sister the chance to reach her twenties (this past July!), go to college and even move in with her long-term boyfriend (I'm still not sure how I feel about that one). Your gift was so priceless and benevolent that I don't actually have adequate words to thank you properly. I am humbled by your choice to donate your loved ones organs.

Merry Christmas to you and all your families. May you have some peace and know that even though your loved one isn't with you, they live on in my sister and others like her who received their gift of life from your relative. You are in my thoughts and prayers constantly and you have my sincere gratitude.

God bless you.

Three Years

2008-12-06T23:28:00.000-05:00

My sister Caitlyn is celebrating an anniversary today. She received the first of two liver transplants on this day three years ago - the second followed less than two weeks later after the donor organ failed due to problems with her hepatic artery.

Three years ago today, I was sitting in a waiting room near the ICU of the best hospital I've ever been in with my mom, brother, grandmother, aunt and two uncles. Her surgery started at 9 am and they let us see her before she went in. She was in a medically induced coma at the time - they were trying to give her body as much rest as they could - and she looked terrible. She was swollen and yellow from the toxins building up in her body and she had machines all around her, helping her breathe and keeping track of her vital signs.

I know she doesn't remember any of this and for that I am grateful. I think it would be horrifying to remember your family saying goodbye to you - because that's what we were doing. Maybe not out loud, but I know for myself I was preparing to never see her again.

It was the worst day of my life.

It was also the longest. Her surgery took over nine hours and the doctors had some concerns about her damaged hepatic artery - concerns that proved valid when the liver, which was not receiving enough blood, began to fail less than five days post-transplant. Caitlyn was put back on the organ transplant list and we waited. There were some very bad days during that wait time, like the time the doctors thought she had had a stroke, or when my mom finally broke down and sobbed.

Perhaps I should mention that my sister was 17 years old during this ordeal. Even then, she was stronger than I will ever be. She pulled through, amazing the doctors and nurses alike, they called her their Christmas miracle and I heartily concur. If I had ever had doubts about my faith in God, they were gone by the time we sat down for Christmas dinner in the Multi Organ Transplant Unit hallway.

It's been a long three years, filled with ups and downs. She's healthy for now, having had two bouts of rejection that have been battled back and countless rounds of blood work. I still think she's our Christmas miracle, every year.

Amen.

Passive Aggressive Notes

2008-12-05T16:53:00.001-05:00

This site makes me laugh really hard.

Mostly because I deliberately leave those kinds of notes knowing FULL WELL that they're passive aggressive.

Political Suckage

2008-12-03T17:04:00.000-05:00

I wouldn't normally post about politics, because I believe in the old adage "never discuss politics or religion". However as a Canadian, I'm pretty interested in the current mess we have going on in Ottawa.

Let me get this out of the way - I voted NDP in the last (November) election and consider myself a democratic-socialist. In other words, I lean pretty far to the left.

That being said, this whole schmozzle that's going on is crap. In the last election, when Canadians went to the polls, they spoke pretty loudly on how they felt about who they wanted leading us. It's not what I would have done and I wasn't thrilled with the outcome, but it's what the majority of our citizens wanted.

Canadians did not want a government led by either Jack Layton or Stephen Dion. If they had've wanted them in power, they would have voted them into office. It's really just that simple in my humble opinion.

I don't agree with most of what the Conservative government puts into place, but my chance to tell them that was in November during the Federal election and every other time I have cast my ballot. I really feel that this "coalition" is taking away my voice and the voices of every other Canadian citizen. Why bother voting when you and your wishes aren't taken into consideration to topple the current government?

It makes me ashamed to be Canadian.

Nobody is THAT Important

2008-11-29T14:54:00.000-05:00

I hate cell phones. I HATE THEM. I don't mind them for emergencies, meeting up, or checking in - but I do hate them when people are out with you and they're constantly on the phone with other people. It's annoying. It's rude.

I went out with some girlfriends this weekend and one of them was on the phone almost the entire time, talking to her husband, her children and sending text messages to friends. Why was she out with us? I understand that she loves her family and is interested in their lives. I commend it. What I don't appreciate is feeling like I'm keeping her from what she'd rather be doing, which I how I end up feeling when someone is on their cell constantly. Also, it makes me feel like I'M not important enough to deserve the person's focus. This makes me less inclined to talk to them about anything important, cause why should I invest in them if they're not listening?

So do me a favour? When you're out with your friends, put the cell phone away for awhile. Your friend might reveal something really cool to you if you're actually listening.

Happy New Years! Early!

2008-11-24T22:48:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but it struck me recently how arbitrary it is to decide to change your life on January 1st. Who decided that was a good day to give it a go? Apparently it's a long standing tradition that has something to do with someone a character on Buffy once prayed to on Halloween (sorry I couldn't resist - that's my favourite episode!)

My point is that I think it's stupid. If you're going to change your life, you shouldn't wait until a specific day to make changes.

This is leading somewhere, I promise.

I recently decided that I was sick of my life being crappy and determined that I wasn't going to feel sorry for myself anymore; I was going to fix it. I started small, but so far, I'm really pleased with some of the changes.

I was sick of feeling guilty about how lazy I had become. I'm not so lazy anymore. I make myself do one major project every weekend. One weekend it was cleaning out our horrifying mess of a fridge. Another week it was putting away all the lawn furniture and getting the backyard ready for winter. I'm not curing cancer or anything, but I'm getting a sense of accomplishment that buoys me up. I don't feel as useless or guilty and it's a nice feeling.

I was feeling lonely and isolated - mostly by choice, but still. I've began making plans, lots of plans. Sure sometimes it gets to be time to DO those plans and I have the urge to back out, but I don't and I almost always am glad that I didn't.

Next? Well, my mom sent me a really nice message on Facebook that got me thinking. Her message was basically telling me how awesome I am and I kinda have to agree. I've decided for my next step, I'm going to stop thinking about all the things that I don't like or that I think are bad about myself, and I'm going to focus on the good stuff. So here is my list of the things I like about me:

1. I'm pretty funny. I'm not taking it on the road anytime soon, but I sure can make my friends, family and coworkers laugh awful hard when I get going.
2. I am responsible. I can be counted on to be there, which may not sound like much, but it is an invaluable quality to have in a friend.
3. I am forgiving. It doesn't sound like much, but I will forgive people I love. Even when they treat me worse than they should. Repeatedly.
4. I am a great friend. If I call you friend, you can have the shirt off my back (metaphorically, I'm not stripping down in public).
5. I have a great smile.
6. I am smart.
7. I am stronger than I look. Sometimes, I'm even stronger than I realize.
8. I am a great listener. I also give great advice and am empathetic, even if I don't agree with everything you're saying.
9. I am not afraid to get angry on someone else's behalf and I am not afraid to stand up for them....even if it's not in my best interests.
10. I'm pretty cool.

This might seem like the most egotistical thing you've ever read. Hell, it's probably the most egotistical thing I've ever written but I don't care. It felt good to put it down on paper (again, metaphorically). You might want to try doing it yourself.

Throwing Up

2008-11-08T17:48:00.000-05:00

I hate throwing up. I don't know anyone who loves it, per se, but I think that I would qualify myself as someone who is particularly reluctant to participate in this activity. I always feel (mostly) better when I've finished throwing up, so I don't know why I fight it soooo hard.

This is my way of sharing that I'm sick. I was thinking it was food poisoning from all the great restaurants I've been eating at lately, but right now I'm so cold that the germ-infested cover on my hotel bed is looking attractive.

Sigh. Don't worry Mom, I'm drinking lots of fluids and taking it easy. I didn't attempt to drive to Ottawa AT ALL today, only to turn around halfway after I threw up on the side of the highway.

I'm Here....It's Boring

2008-11-05T22:25:00.000-05:00

So I'm here in Hawkesbury and I'm pretty bored. The days at work aren't so bad, there's lots of stuff to do, but the nights are terrible. I mostly hate having to eat all by myself in restaurants.

Every night I'm tempted to go through the drive-thru at McDonalds, just to avoid having to eat alone at a table. And every night, I make myself go out. Not because I'm making myself face my fears.

I'm afraid what the hotel maids will think if they clean out a McDonalds takeout bag from the garbage everyday.

Am I The Only One Who Thinks This is Weird?

2008-10-21T22:33:00.000-04:00

Work is sending me to our Hawkesbury terminal so I can cover the vacation of our only office staff member working out of that office (it's a small town, thus it requires little staff - we're not being mean and making him work there all by himself, I swear).

He and his family are going on vacation for ten days and I'm going to do his job (only prettier) for the duration of his time off.

My boss and he discussed it and they think it's a perfectly good idea that while he's gone, I not only do his job, but I can live in his house as well. While he and his family are gone.

So I'd be staying in someones VERY REMOTE farmhouse while they themselves are on vacation in another country.

Did I mention I'm a city girl (or a suburbs girl at the very least) through and through? It's bad enough that I'm going to be spending a week in a town of less than ten thousand people. They don't have a movie theatre or a Starbucks and their only Canadian Tire closes at 5 pm. (I mean, I'm sure it's a lovely place to live and raise a family - just as long as you don't mind driving forty five minutes to see that damn chihuahua movie)

But that's not my real issue.

Am I wrong to be uncomfortable about staying in the house of a near stranger? While they're not home? His wife seemed to think it was a great idea ("You can look after the dog!"), so maybe I am the weird one.

Isn't it Ironic? Don't You Think?

2008-09-28T17:38:00.000-04:00

I don't understand how some people are born with absolutely no sense of irony. None. Nada. Zip.

Case in point?

I'm standing in line at Shoppers Drug Mart today, waiting to pay for my lip balm and birthday card and in front of me is a woman and her husband. I'm annoyed by them as I tend to be by people in general, especially those who don't understand how a line works (you're not supposed to stand so closely to the person in front of you that you're in their dance space; no one is going to bum-rush you if you're not cheek to jowl with the person in front of you).

The wife is also one of those shrill annoying people who speak in a louder than normal tone of voice, hoping that someone will be listening to them and remark on their brilliance. You know the type. They speak as though they're waiting for a snare drum to baddump bump them when they finish their sentences but the dead giveaway is that they look around in the beat of silence that follows their last words, just hoping to catch the eye of someone listening.

Plus she was wearing sunglasses indoors, so I'm allowed to hate her without impunity.

ANYWAY. She's standing at the register waiting to check out (of course there's only one register open and they have twelve thousand things - shopping with a flyer and knowing the limit on how many of a particular item can be purchased in a single transaction is another reason I can tell we'd never be BFFs) and she glances down at the tabloids displayed in the magazine rack.

She screams aloud the headline of the latest Star Magazine (entitled Suri's Lonely Life), which features a picture of little Suri Cruise (the offspring of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes). She picks it up and flips to the article and says, completely irony-free, 'who reads this garbage'. I thought that was bad enough, but THEN! The cashier motioned that it was her turn in line, I can only assume that she wasn't finished with the article so SHE BOUGHT THE MAGAZINE.

I am telling you. People really are as stupid as I thought.

My Birthday

2008-09-14T19:47:00.000-04:00

My birthday is in a week. I'll be turning 27. It's weird to be that old.

I know, I know, many of my coworkers and friends would slap me for saying that 27 is old, but when you feel like you haven't gotten started yet, 27 is old!

I hate my birthday. It has absolutely nothing to do with age. Let me repeat that. IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH AGE. I don't mind getting older per se, it's just that I hate looking back at the last year and realizing I've done little with it. Since I turned 26, I'm living in the same spot, with the same people, doing the same job and playing at the same hobbies.

Plus, every day that passes is one less that I've squandered not pursuing my dream of.....um. Yeah. I don't have a really solid dream. I'd like to be a rock star, but that dream is hindered not only by my lack of musical talent, but my fundamental inability to make an ass out of myself on stage. Other than that one, I still haven't figured out what I want to do when I grow up.

My only consolation is that I have a feeling I'm not alone.

Is It Wrong?

2008-09-05T22:42:00.000-04:00

Is it wrong to be jealous of my boss because he got called to jury duty? Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Law and Order, but I think it kinda sounds interesting.

Maybe I just like the idea because I don't have to feel guilty about passing judgement on others. THAT WOULD BE THE JOB!

Is it too late to become a judge?

Plans Gone Awry

2008-08-23T23:28:00.000-04:00

I know you're thinking, why are you blogging from the cottage Tara? Didn't you have plans to get blotto before lunch and then sleep/read in the hammock for the rest of the day?

Why, yes. Yes, I did.

Here's the craptastic (literally, it involves crap) story:

We packed the car to the gills this afternoon and headed out. We were in two cars - one containing myself, my grandmother and my cousin Connor, one containing my aunt Stacie, cousins Emilie and Derek and their dog Max. The drive was fairly smooth, with the GPS behaving perfectly and the weather being nice and sunny.

It started to get cloudy and that should have been recognized for the omen that it was.

I was driving along and all of a sudden, my aunt's car was no longer behind mine. I could see it pulled off on the side, so I pulled over and called her cell phone. Her son Derek answered and exclaimed, "Max just pooped in the car!". I could hear my aunt cursing and gagging in the background, so I asked the obvious questions: "Does it smell? Is your mom mad?" Derek answered in the affirmative to both and then hung up on me. About ten minutes later, her car pulled back on the road and as she passed us, I happened to notice that Derek was no longer wearing a shirt. Apparently he was stripped of it and the shirt was pressed into service as a rag to clean the seat. THAT'S RIGHT! The dog jumped up on the seat to poop!

We stopped at a grocery store so my aunt could buy supplies to clean the car and some Fabreeze and the kids got out to walk the dog while she went in the store (a little late, don't you think). As they came to stand near our car, Max did it again - and it wasn't....ahem, solid. Any guesses as to who was the next person out of the store? THAT'S RIGHT! The guy who was parked next to us and had to step over the poop. Max, the bold vixen that he is, even tried to get friendly with the guy....maybe as some kind of apology, more likely because Max is just that kind of dog.

My aunt seemed like she was in a better mood once she was able to clean the car. Derek, meanwhile was still shirtless - his bag buried in the trunk.

We drove some more and it started to pour. We arrived at the cottage, but lo! It was already occupied! I know the thought that it got double booked crossed MY mind, but before I could work myself into a fit over the stupid booking agent, my aunt pulled out her package and noted that our arrival date is SUNDAY AUG 24th. Huh. That's tomorrow. We had just driven five hours and endured the poop debacle of '08, only to be thwarted at the end of the quest.

We searched for a hotel, but it's cottage country on one of the last weekends of the summer. It just ain't happening. Starving, we made for the first fast food place we could find - via GPS of course. It happened to be a McDonalds and we gorged ourselves on Big Macs and Quarter Pounders. Returning to the road, the GPS began acting funny and then it took us on a wild detour through residential streets and construction zones, finally depositing us.....back at the same McDonalds we had just left - half an hour earlier.

It was laugh or cry, it really was.

We eventually found our way home and now I'm going to bed. We'll be heading back to the cottage tomorrow, hopefully with better results. And I'm not sure that Max is being invited back.

Cottage Reading List

2008-08-21T19:19:00.000-04:00

I'm heading to the cottage on Saturday for a week away from it all. I'm going with my aunt and her three kids (ages 8 to 12), my grandmother, my sister, and my mom.

My plan is to drink heavily.

I also plan to do much lazing around, reading in the sunshine and dozing in the shade. I went on a book spree and here's what I'm taking:

The Condition by Jennifer Haigh. According the description on the back, it's about a family with some issues - not the least of which is that one of the children has a genetic condition that keeps her in the body of a pre-teen. It's a story about family and the secrets that lie within. I think I will like it, I loved her first book so I'm not worried it won't be interesting enough to finish.

I love essays and I love Chelsea Handler, so this book seemed like a perfect fit. I think she's hilarious and I try to stay up late to watch 'Chelsea Lately' as often as I can (which isn't very). I'm planning on leaving this one to read in pieces like most essay books should be read in my humble opinion. I like having a book without a story, one that I can just pick up and read bits and pieces without being SUPER invested in continuing on. It's a nice book to, ahem, read in a hammock. You know, in case you fall asleep.

The latest book in my favourite summertime series, it will be light, fluffy and funny. In other words, the perfect cottage book. These books are about a Jersey-girl bond enforcer named Stephanie Plum who is very bad at her job. The only thing that saves her bacon (repeatedly) is that she has good instincts and she's not stupid. Incompetent, yes. Stupid, no. There's a silly, never-to-be-resolved love triangle between a good boy and a bad boy and it's all very cliche. But like I said, they're funny. I mean really funny. I've had people ask me if I'm alright while I am reading before. That's a pretty good indicator.

Not one book, but three! Except mine are all in one volume - but I couldn't find a picture of the one volume 'Dark Materials'. I've never read these books, but I've heard nothing but good things about them from multiple people. I am looking forward to reading these and the only thing I know about them is that they involve Nicole Kidman somehow. Not such a bad thing.

Everyone has been talking about this book. I've heard it compared to 'The Time Traveller's Wife' among other books and that was enough to intrigue me. It's the story of a man who after almost being burned alive, is visited by a woman who swears that she and he have been lovers throughout the ages. I've been dying to read it for so long and I finally picked a copy up to take north. I'm excited!

There are a couple more books I was thinking of picking up (I know, I'm a self confessed book whore), so I think I'll stop at Chapters tomorrow. I'll let you know what I think of the more memorable books. Oh, and in case you're wondering - I read pretty quickly so I'm sure I'll get through all of these books next week. But if I don't, I'd rather have too many than not enough.

The Canadian National Exhibition

2008-08-16T18:08:00.000-04:00

So the Exhibition has started.

I know everyone and their mother will talk about how it was when they were a kid, and I'd like to be different, but I'm really not that creative.

I loved the Ex as a kid. The rides weren't as good as the ones you could find at Wonderland, but it did have The Alpine, which was my favourite part every year. I missed going for a few years as a young teen and practically cried when I arrived the summer before my last year of high school to discover it had been torn down. I don't particularly care that it wasn't the safest way to see the grounds. It was high and afforded you a great view of the action and it was always so baking hot and crowded at the Ex that getting up there was like getting away from it all.

That summer before I went into my final year of high school was also the year of the free concert at the Bandstand in the Park. Valerie (I wonder whatever happened to her!), Gill and I spent almost the entire two weeks at the Ex. We saw some great shows, Scratching Post, The Killjoys,Rusty, Made (sorry, couldn't find a link) and so many others. It was probably one of the best summers of my life. We were so poor, none of us had jobs and we would bring our own cups of noodles and scam a food building employee into giving us free boiling water just so we could eat. It was all we could do to pay the train fare and entrance fee. We swam in the Shrine Peace Memorial (in our defense, it was extremely hot AND, if you look at the picture, you'll see a bench behind the statue thing. Why would they put a bench there if no one was supposed to swim to it and sit on it?!) on one particular night - even interrupting a man and woman who were, ahem, canoodling on a nearby bench.

I'm probably not going to go this year. I went last year and was so disappointed. When I was a kid, it was so magical. They always sold stuff that was NEW! IMPROVED! FROM SPACE! and when I was there last summer, it was all mostly junk. It made me sad. Why did they ever get rid of the display of china that was UNBREAKABLE!!! They even sat a car on the teacups for goodness sake!

So if you go, visit Tiny Tom's for me and have a doughnut. It really does taste like the end of the summer to me.

Being Blue

2008-07-23T19:14:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I get into a funk. It's not pretty, it can last for days (or weeks), and the only thing that can bust me out is time.

I'm in a funk.

I don't know what it is but I'm feeling down and out. Blue, if you will.

Nothing bums me out faster than being poor and every now and then, I get a sharp poke in the back to remind me that I am not in a comfortable financial state. Sure, I do better now than I ever have, but I honestly don't picture myself ever being secure in that aspect. Part of that is, in a duel-income world, my "I don't necessarily want to get married, or be in a long term relationship" is bound to impede my solvency.

I also have a love of crap. CD's, DVD's, fancy electronics, expensive bath products , it all contributes to my general poorness. Not that I'm some kind of huge wastrel when it comes to money - I frankly don't have it to waste. By the time I pay my bills and expenses, there's usually about $50 a week in "fritter" money. Sounds like a lot? I include expenses like shampoo, toothpaste, haircuts, and clothes in that "fritter" category; things I can make stretch longer (shampoo, toothpaste, haircuts) and things I can just use the old of (clothes).

Don't feel too sorry for me, I'm currently doing enough of that for the both of us. I especially want you to save your sympathy because I am VERY aware that there are people who are far worse off than I am.

Sometimes, not very often, because I really do like to fancy myself as a modern independent woman, I really wish I had someone to take care of me. It's a deep confession, one I would never make if I actually thought anyone read this blog.

Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

2008-07-21T11:03:00.000-04:00

I've been a Joss Whedon fan for a long while. I was obsessed with Buffy in high school and I've been willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on many other projects (Firefly, I'm looking at you).

But Dr Horrible takes the cake. The free streaming period is over, but it's well worth the price of the download from iTunes. Trust me, Neil Patrick Harris muttering "Balls" under his breath at the end of act I, is by itself enough to merit the price of admission.

Pure genius.

Thunderstorm!

2008-06-15T21:03:00.000-04:00

I love them! They make me so happy to be alive and they're just creepy enough to make me glad I don't live in a horror movie.

My dog? Doesn't love them so much. I tried to take a picture of him in "storm-mode" but he wouldn't really cooperate. He was too busy hiding under the computer table/trying to get on my lap in the office chair/flood the living room in his saliva.

This was the best I could do. Note on the bottom of the right hand corner, you'll see (if you look VERY closely) spots of drool on the carpet. That's his only defense against the storm. That, and panting and shaking uncontrollably. I feel really bad for him, but there's very little I can do. The only thing that makes him feel slightly better is hiding in the bathtub. Which would be fine, except he fully expects you to get in with him. It's a little too much to give to a dog. Especially one that refuses to walk on a leash.

Sia - Breathe Me

2008-06-12T23:17:00.000-04:00

I think this might be the saddest song I've ever heard.....

Bad Television Comes Back

2008-06-08T16:14:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year again! It's summertime, a time when the absolute worst of the worst comes onto a screen near you.

I claim to hate it. All the great shows I watch during the year are gone, replaced by reality and crap TV. But I'm lying. I secretly love it and for the following reasons:

1. It's escapism
2. Most of the shows are so terrible, it doesn't matter if you manage to catch every episode. This means when you are invited to go to a 10 year old's soccer game, you can accept without hoping the VCR is programmed.
3. Sometimes - not very often - a true gem of a show starts in the summer and becomes a show you'll keep watching all year long.

So I present to you, my favourite summertime shows (in no particular order).

Big Brother - It really is one of the trashier reality shows. It requires absolutely no talent to get on it, making it's contestants some of the absolute biggest weirdos around and even worse, if you are somehow "good" at the "game", the people will evict you right away. I watch the American version and it's great to have something to loathe/love all in one neat TV package. Oh, and as a bonus this show is on five thousand times per week, so it fills in many blank spots that would normally require multiple shows. It's really a win-win.
Season 10 begins in July on CBS

The Mole - Oh how I've missed this one. When it first started, I think it was going head to head with the Amazing Race and I opted to watch the latter, so I missed it. It's not until I caught the second season that I became hooked. It's such an interesting concept - the team has to work towards putting money away, but one person is working against them and they have to figure out who to stay in the game - and even better, it's fun for the audience too! YOU GET TO PLAY ALONG!! I spend the entire episode looking for those "clues" that allegedly point to the identity of the mole and will debate who acted suspiciously with my co-workers the next day. I miss the shows original host (Anderson, my-mom-makes-blue-jeans, Cooper) but I think this new guy is going to work out just fine.
Season 3 is now showing on ABC

My Boys - This is one of those great shows that really deserves to be on all year. It's funny, smart and heartbreaking all at once. The premise is that a tom-boy type girl hangs out with all guys (except for her BFF) and works as a sport writer. It's so cute and originally funny. All of the guys are hilarious and the relationship between PJ and her older brother is really realistic. I recommend everyone at least watch 'Douchebag in the City' to get a feel for it's flavour. If that's not enough for you, one of PJ's friends looks exactly like Robert Levon Been from Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.
Season 3 begins June 12th on TBS

So You Think You Can Dance - Where do I even begin? I know I've said I like to watch dancing before, but this show? It's so awesome. I'm not into Dancing With the Stars or any of the other (imitation) dance shows that have popped up lately, but SYTYCD is different. It's the first. The original. Even though this show started as a spin off of American Idol, I think it's better. First because I'd rather watch people dance than sing. Second because I find it great from beginning to end. I like all the stages, auditions, Vegas week and performances. I even like how complicated the rules are! Seriously, if you're not going to take my advice on anything else, at least take it on this one. You won't regret it.
Season 4 is now showing on Fox

Here's What I Think - Chapter 1

2008-05-12T22:01:00.000-04:00

I have a confession to make. I am not a fully licensed driver.

For all you non-Ontario residents who are reading this, relax. I'm not tooling down the street illegally. I have my G2 class license, which means I basically have all the same rights and privileges as any other driver on the road.

Except for one thing: I still have to pass one last road test.

I was driving home tonight, doing what I occasionally do whenever it occurs to me that I still have to pass my G2 exit test. I was pretending that I was on the test RIGHT THEN and driving according the actual rules of the road. I was holding the wheel at ten and two, driving EXACTLY the speed limit and checking my mirrors so often that I felt dizzy. I did this for, oh, five minutes at the most, at which point I mentally patted myself on the back (can't take my hands off the wheel after all!) for remembering the correct way to drive and then immediately began driving "normal".

And something occurred to me. Why don't instructors use the second test as a way to test the actual way people drive?

Let me explain.

When I drive the way I usually drive, I am safe. I signal, check my blind spots, glance in my mirrors and behave in a courteous fashion towards my fellow road mates. Sure, I don't check my blind spot for a non-existent biker who has snuck up beside me before I turn right, but who the hell does?!

I think the first road test should be the one where you demonstrate how much you were able to glean from your lessons during your driving lessons and the second road test should be used to determine if you are an asshole on the road.

You should be required to drive with your hands on your normal wheel position - partly to show the examiner how easily one can steer from the nine and five arrangement, and partly because you just look like less of a dork.

You should have to demonstrate your ability to put a cd in while driving. Nay, not just put it in, but turn it up and sing along while still remaining able to dodge the children in the school zone.

It should be mandatory for you to search the glove box for your GPS and coast through parking lots looking for the perfect spot. A good driver should be tested for their ability to slam on the brakes when an asshole cuts them off. Good use of the horn and middle finger are basic skills that every operator of a motor vehicle should possess and dammit, I think that's the stuff that we should be tested on!

Cause let's be serious. If you can't parallel park, are you really going to attempt it? I know lots of people that claim "it's good exercise" to park a mile from anything, just to avoid having to resurrect that particular skill. Once you pass a basic test to determine you're not going to hurt yourself (or anyone else), why not make the second one more.....I don't know, fun?

It's not like it's just a money grab or anything.

The Weekend that Barely Happened

2008-05-10T22:04:00.000-04:00

I haven't been around a whole lot lately, my apologies. It's really not my fault, I swear.

I've been so busy it's revolting. No really. I don't always love being busy.

I mean, in the moment it's satisfying - you feel really popular and interesting when you have to tell people that you can't squeeze them into your plans and it keeps you from lying on the couch watching TV on DVD and pondering the age old questions (like Jordan Catalano vs. Brian Krakow). However being busy has it's downsides too. I hate the feeling of unrelaxedness that comes with rushing around being every one's friend. Sometimes I like to just be, you know? Just plop my butt down and read a good book or have a long bath with a magazine. And when I don't get that time to decompress, I feel cheated or something. And it effects my mood too. Nothing will make me crankier than a four year old at nap time then being deprived of "me" time. It's one of the main reasons I don't want to be a parent.

Where was I?

Oh yeah. My busy life.

Last weekend was the perfect example. Actually it's not the perfect example. I'm lying. Last weekend was not typical enough to be the perfect example. If I was as busy every weekend as I was then, I would die. Literally keel over.

Friday night started out good, I did laundry and got geared up by going to bed relatively early (I know, I'm a party animal). I got up around 10 am the next day and immediately flew into weekend mode. I grabbed my overnight bag and jumped in the car. Stopping only briefly in Toronto to pick up my co-pilot for the coming adventure, the weekend started off with coffee at Tim Horton's and a stop for gas.

We drove. And drove. And drove. Until finally after only two stops (one for food and gas and the other to ahem, pee) we arrived. Do you want to know where we arrived? We arrived in Montreal. Home to many things, not the least of which was our destination which was the Bell Centre and a Montreal Canadiens game.

But not just any game. Oh, no. We were there for a playoffs game. A do or die, game five against the Philadelphia Flyers. My boss had handed me the tickets in an offhanded gesture that left my jaw on the floor and my heart pounding. I think you have to be Canadian to understand the magnitude of the gift. I actually had to grab him by the shoulders and ask him if he was serious. This is the American equivalent to the Superbowl I guess and the tickets were in high demand. I checked two days before the game and a single ticket in our section was going for $1500.

I was taking no one but my best friend, who is a dyed in the wool Canadiens fan, watching games in her living room wearing her foam finger and swearing loudly at her television. She was, to put it mildly, thrilled. And speechless for practically the first time since we had met in grade nine science class with Mme. Reo-Peters.

Hence all the driving I mentioned before.

We arrived in Montreal a little past six pm and made our way to the arena. A party had started outside complete with a band and Youppi! the team's mascot. Lacking a camera to document the experience of meeting the Orange One, we skipped it and went straight in. We found our seats, directly behind the Habs (for the first and third period) goal and settled in.

The experience was really one of kind for a few reasons. First, the Habs are a great team and they have some of the greatest (and loudest) fans in the league. Second, the hockey was great. Fast, skilled hockey with (for the most part) balanced refereeing. Third, did I mention it was post season?!

Anyway, no matter how it ended, I'm really glad I was there and that I got the opportunity to be a fan of a great team, in person.

But the weekend wasn't over. Oh no. Not even by a long shot.

You see, both Gill and I had agreed to take part in a charity car rally the next day for Food For Life. Whereas I probably could have backed out of it by claiming exhaustion and just donating the pledges I'd raised, Gill was in a dilly of a pickle. Her dad, chairman of the board for the charity, would not have been pleased to hear that a hockey game was going to take priority over her promise to attend and help out.

So fifteen minutes after the Habs season ended, we climbed back in the car and drove back to Toronto. It was tough after a while, the fog and rain that developed along the way were a nice bonus too! We're pretty hardcore people though, especially when we put our minds to it and we muscled through. I dropped her off at her apartment at 4:30 am and continued on to my house in the 'burbs.

After sleeping for awhile (ha!), I got up and went to the car rally. It was fun and surprisingly tough, my nanny and I had to drive back and forth on some of the clues multiple times and she has eyes like a hawk! I ran out of steam by the home stretch of the rally and had some trouble with the last few clues. We arrived second at the finish line which would have been great if it was a speed race, but accuracy with the clues was what would crown the eventual winner and my friend Shannon from work ended up with the grand prize.

I drove back home and was too tired to eat. In fact, I was feeling so nauseous that I ended up going to bed at 8 pm and I slept until work the next day. Which I attended feeling like a jet-lagged drunk.

As tough as it was, when asked if I would do it again, there's only one response. Hells yeah!

Why Thursday is My Favourite Day of the Week...

2008-04-17T19:40:00.000-04:00

It's a well known fact that some days are better than others. Mondays are naturally crappy, my sleep pattern is always out of whack from going to bed later on the weekends. Tuesdays are terrible because it's seems like the following weekend is miiiiles away. Wednesdays are the worst. You've completely forgotten about any of the good stuff you did the previous weekend, and you still have TWO WHOLE DAYS until the next one starts. Wednesday sucks! I'm not much of a fan of Fridays either, mostly because I usually work late on Friday and it seems to drag out longer than most days.

Then there's Thursdays.

Thursdays rule. I can't pin down exactly what it is about Thursdays that rock my socks so much, but I love them. They involve planning your weekend, getting all hyped for going out, or looking forward to staying in and doing nothing (a personal favourite for Sundays). You're looking forward to Friday, a day when you can dress more casually in the office (unless you're me, who can go to work wearing pj's any day of the week and no one would blink). Lots of people get paid on Thursdays, so you feel rich for a very brief second! As an added bonus, tv has even put it's best shows on Thursday nights!

Thursdays are so awesome. I look forward to them every week and when someone makes me mad, or I sleep crappy on Wednesday night - I don't sweat it. Even if this particular Thursday turns out crappy, there's another one coming up in less than a week!

Everyone's a winner.

My (Not So) Secret Shame

2008-04-15T22:43:00.000-04:00

I have an obsession with dance movies. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but there you go.

I think it all started with every girl's favourite movie: Dirty Dancing. Something about that movie still makes me giddy and it probably always will. When I was younger (and more naive), I assumed that it must be a crush on Patrick Swayze or perhaps an unconscious feeling of kinship towards the awkward Baby that drew me to it.

I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong.

It's really that I just love dance movies. It doesn't matter how crappy they are, if it contains a final dance scene designed to bring the audience to it's feet, I'm going to see it. Julia Stiles, dancing constipated-faced and uttering the worst dialogue ever written? Yep, seen it. Bad body doubles pretending to be ballerinas? Seen that one too - in fact, I own it (on DVD and VHS). I've seen both of the Step Up movies in theatres, the second one twice.

Maybe it's an inner frustration that my mom never pushed me into dancing. Maybe it's just my love of music, being expressed in a whole-body experience. Whatever it is, I don't care. I'm past being ashamed and have moved into reveling.

By the way, I hear they're making a sequel to Center Stage! I've bookmarked the IMBD page, and will keep you posted on developments!

Another Reason to Avoid Having Children

2008-04-14T21:43:00.000-04:00

About a year ago, I mentioned a theory to a friend who dismissed me with a laugh and a roll of the eyes, indicating he was mostly humouring me just by listening. I figured the theory was a good one because:
a) it's plausible
and
b) it's pretty freaking terrifying (not to mention the squick factor)

So here it is:

What happens to people who accidentally marry their genetic sibling?

You know what I mean, some lady is all Annie Lennox-ing it (sing it with me, "I need a maaaaaan") and decides that she's just going to do it on her own - have a bambino. So, she visits a "clinic" and gets inseminated with a strangers sperm. Oh joy, she's knocked up! She has the kid, it grows up and meets it's special someone.

Only, this special someone has a dad who once paid for medical school by donating his sperm to the local sperm bank.

So, these kids didn't grow up together, didn't fight on road trips, never attempted to kill each other with vacuum cleaners (don't ask) but are siblings nonetheless. Do they get married? Does it really count as being related?

My friend who laughed at me had to recently concede that I was right, it could happen. No one tracks what happens to the kids of sperm donors. No one has a registry that prevents them from accidentally marrying their relative. It's a scary thought, especially for all those couples who get teased because they're "starting to look alike".